I moved my computer, and with a new setup comes new hazards. My headphone cable was wrapped around my foot when I tried to get up, and it ripped the headphones out of the jack. Both the jack and the plug were damaged – the jack was no longer in one piece, and pieces of plastic had flown off its housing, and the plug was bent but still in one piece. We were able to bend the plug back into shape with a vice, but the damaged jack would only provide audio to the left ear. Enter jack retasking in the Realtek Audio Console:
I was able to use the remaining front panel jack, and made sure to run the headphone cable with less slack to try to prevent a repeat performance. There’s a bug here, too: even though I’ve requested separate playback devices for the front and rear panel, it only gives me two if the normally-output jack is set to output. Close enough, and if I really wanted to work around it I could probably rewire the remaining jack to appear as the output one by moving cables in the front panel connector.